How To: Dealing With a Dead Car Battery

I was stranded at Kroger with a dead car battery. What’s worse than being stranded with a vehicle that won’t start? Being stranded with a vehicle that won’t start that has melting ice cream in the back seat while it is pouring rain outside. Yuck.

Fortunately, I was parked next to a very kind woman who let me jump start my car with hers.

If you’re lucky, maybe you can get Megan Fox to jump start your car…

Megan Fox didn’t jump start my car, in case you were wondering, but if you’re lucky, maybe Megan Fox will pull up next to your car as you’re stranded in a parking lot somewhere. You never know…

Anyways, I’m writing this post to tell you how to deal with a dead car battery. A large percentage of the driving population will have a dead car battery at some point in their life, but not everyone knows what to do to get back on the road. With OnStar and AAA, sometimes people take for granted the simple jump start.

Here are a few tips if you need to jump start your car:

  • First, make sure neither vehicle is running, including the electricity donor car.
  • Connect the negative (red) cable to the negative (red) terminal of the DEAD battery.
  • Connect the other negative (red) cable to the negative (red) terminal of the CHARGED battery.
  • Connect the positive (black) cable to the positive (black) terminal of the CHARGED battery.
  • Finally, connect the remaining positive (black) cable to a solid, non-painted metal portion of the engine of the DEAD car, as far away from the battery as possible. This will ground the circuit.
  • Start the car with the charged battery and let it idle for a few minutes.
  • Attempt to start the car with the dead battery and think happy thoughts until it starts.

Hopefully, the vehicle is able to move, at this point, and you can drive back to your house or (better yet) an auto-parts store that will sell you a car battery. Sometimes, if you ask really nicely, they’ll even change the battery for you.

Unfortunately, that’s not an option that I have. My car is simply a storage object, sitting in my garage. When the rain stops, I’ll walk through a half mile of puddles to my local auto parts store and carry the battery back with me.

Should be fun…


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